ここではくりなが実際に書いたエッセイに、OCの有志が添削（修正）したものを投稿します。
準１保有者（１級は１次合格経験あり）が書いたエッセイに、有識者の修正が加わっているので、中身はかなり良いものになっているはずです。
おそらくですが合格ラインは超えており、満点に近い内容になっていると思います。
● Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
● Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
● Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion
● Suggested length: 120–150 words
TOPIC: Agree or disagree: Most developed countries will enact stricter immigration policies in the future
POINTS
●Population
●Economy
●Globalization
●Nationalism
I disagree with the idea that most developed countries will enact stricter immigration policies in the future. I would like to explain the reason in terms of population and globalization.
One key factor is the population in developed countries. In general, the birth rate in most developed countries are deteriorating recently. Immigrants could be accepted as workers making up for the shortage, which can lead to substantial results in maintaining the labor force.
Second, with the advent of globalization, the number of people who are interested in foreign cultures will increase due to wide spread of external culture such as foods. Under this circumstance, Immigrants can be a good factor to popularize their culture. As a result, even domestic people can get in touch with their cuisines with ease.
Although accepting immigration policies have some demerits, the merit of supporting the workforce and promoting interaction between nations overweighs the negative impacts. In conclusion, for these reasons, the government in developed countries do not have to regulate strict laws for immigrants.
できるかぎり、準１級受験者でもがんばれば書けるレベルを目指したつもりです。英検準１級の場合、言い換え表現はそこまでうるさくはないんですが、採点基準が不明なことから言い換え表現には気を付けました。
（作成中です）
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