くりなの練習その3(仮)

エッセイ(準1級)

ここではくりなが実際に書いたエッセイに、OCの有志が添削(修正)したものを投稿します。
準1保有者(1級は1次合格経験あり)が書いたエッセイに、有識者の修正が加わっているので、中身はかなり良いものになっているはずです。
おそらくですが合格ラインは超えており、満点に近い内容になっていると思います。

お題

● Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
● Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
● Structure: Introduction, main body, and conclusion
● Suggested length: 120–150 words

TOPIC: Agree or disagree: Most developed countries will enact stricter immigration policies in the future

POINTS
●Population
●Economy
●Globalization
●Nationalism

くりなの答案

   I agree with the idea that the world’s environmental problems will decrease in the future. I will focus on technology and awareness to explain my opinion.

   First, with the advent of new technologies, CO2 emissions – one of the main causes to global warming – are already decreasing. In car industry, for instance, has developed new engines that use less energy and emit less CO2. These series of action could be the key to resolving environmental issues.

   Second, many citizens have already been aware of the importance of keeping the ecosystem thanks to the high quality of education. In Japan, for example, many people can separate their garbage to make the environment clean. This is because many people have been taught that the importance of looking after our environment.

    In conclusion, for these reasons, I think that environmental issues will be solved someday thanks to recognizing importance of environment and advancing technologies.

狙い

できるかぎり、準1級受験者でもがんばれば書けるレベルを目指したつもりです。英検準1級の場合、言い換え表現はそこまでうるさくはないんですが、採点基準が不明なことから言い換え表現には気を付けました。

ポイント

(作成中)

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